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Why I Am Not Raising Nice Kids ( A Letter to my Children)

Dear kids, please don’t be nice.Your whole lives up until now I have told you to be nice. I would like to formally retract that.Most of the time I said it for lack of a better word: “Be nice to your...

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For When the World News Just Might Break You

Sometimes I feel like I cannot breathe the air anymore. It is so thick with anger and fear and grief. I know you know what I mean.The news is dark and depressing. Shootings, murders, kidnappings....

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Perfect is a Lie and You are Enough

Friend, you are enough. Today, as you are, with all your frailties and imperfections and fears and struggles. You are enough. I know we know this.  Or, at least we would say we know this, wouldn’t...

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Friend, You are Going to Have to Teach us How to Love You

It should have been her wedding anniversary.  I sat on the stoop with my recently widowed friend while she cried and I awkwardly circled my hand on her back.  They should have been going out for dinner...

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The Only Way to Love our Kids Unconditionally (or anyone, for that Matter)

We all want to believe that we love our kids unconditionally. But do we? Can we?Growing up, there were pretty much only 3 things my brothers and I were not allowed to be: Gay, fat, or liberal.   I am 2...

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The World Has Heard Enough Opinions, It Needs Our Stories

I sat across from an old friend in his basement office, with my clothes unwashed and my hair dreading into clumps. I was homeless, addicted, and desperate. I felt alone and unlovable, depressed and...

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Oh Friend, You are Not Too Sensitive

Friend, with the soft heart and the tears that are quick to flow.  I see you. I am you.And I know you’ve been told your whole life that you are too sensitive. But you are not. You are exactly who you...

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Dear Motherless Daughter on Mother's Day, I See You

Oh motherless daughter, I see you.  Dear motherless daughter on mother’s day. I see you, I am you. I know so well that longing. The soul ache that permeates every day but turns to a gaping raw hole...

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Messy Hospitality: Inviting Each Other Into Our Sacred Mess

I didn’t know it, but my heart needed some messy hospitality.It was a Saturday afternoon and I texted my friend who’d be arriving in a couple hours for our families to eat together and connect. I shot...

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Why I Give to Panhandlers (and Think You Should Too).

It’s a question we have all wrestled with. Should we give money to panhandlers? To homeless men and women begging on the sidewalk or holding a sign at a traffic light? If we do, are we enabling them?...

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Your Kids Don't Need a Better Mom

It’s hard to be a good mom in 2019. I imagine it has always been hard to be a good mom. But today there is pressure that I know our mothers never felt. Pressure to throw Pinterest-worthy birthday...

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How to Stop Yelling at your Kids (And why it Matters)

No one wants to be the angry mom shouting at her kids. But we’ve all been there. Yelling at our kids is often considered normal. But it doesn’t have to be. With some grace and humility, we can learn to...

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